Paranoid Culture

Earthquakes: Where to Hide?

admin — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:53:50 +0000

With the recent Chinese Earthquake, and of course the Haiti earthquake,, one might wonder where to hide. Answer? Aside from Laputa, the floating castle in the sky, theres really nowhere thats safe.

Week of Earthquakes and Tsunamis

admin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:33:24 +0000

As if the future wasnt bleak enough, the present has become even worse. Several seismic events, a samoan new zealand earthquake and tsunami event [read about its aftereffects here], and a Sumatra Earthquake and Tsunami with all its warnings just doesnt bode well. With sealevels on the rise, isnt it hard enough already?

Jung: New Reason to Fear

admin — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:04:12 +0000

Apparently there is a book of dark psychotic secrets out there… The Red Book, by Carl Jung, a book in which:

He was haunted by troubling visions and heard inner voices. Grappling with the horror of some of what he saw, he worried in moments that he was, in his own words, “menaced by a psychosis” or “doing a schizophrenia.”

The Philemon Foundation is behind this we’re sure, along with various snake headed archetypes and bats that live off soul energy.

AIG Outrage Threatens Psychosis Definition

admin — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 12:42:21 +0000

The medically relevant definition of psychosis is being threatened, as reality and the reality of oppositeland take firmer hold in the gestalt mindshare of the American people:

“People experiencing psychosis may report hallucinations or delusional beliefs, and may exhibit personality changes and disorganized thinking. This may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behavior, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out the activities of daily living.” [link]

As Mobile Vulgus and Mob Rule become fashionable and take their stranglehold, the technoratic elite seem to be taking to mashup tools to get what they want, when they want it: amongst calls for a AIG Bonus Tracker [geolocated], we may never hear of those who do the right thing, whatever that is.

Spinal Tap Tax Returns Reunion

admin — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:08:07 +0000

Its acoustic reunion time.. the Spinal Tap Unwigged Reunion Tour has seemingly hit the streets. Who doesnt want to re-revel in the Spinal Tap movie of yore, again and again? Requires 18 inch DVD format.

Financial Markets Fallout Radioactive

admin — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 13:19:54 +0000

The highly toxic and radioactive assets in the latest round from the global stock market chaos has led to a dearth of advice on surviving the fallout. But certain suggestions as how to survive financial ruin come in many different flavors of trepidation and fear. Everything from guns to gold, clean water to diamonds, to buying up everything you can, if you can, during the firesale, leads us to wonder why cant we just start over? Paranoid Culture staff have taken an informal vote, and we beleive that clamshells will become the next currency. There should be enough for every human on the planet to have some money then. And if the clams begin to die off from global warming, why, what could be a better inflationary curb?

Author of Dune: Pre-Apocalyptic Birthday Wishes

admin — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 02:38:43 +0000

It looks like the day of reckoning, also known as the celebration of Frank Herberts Birthday, has arrived. This event should, of course, be highly celebrated. As you will notice, there is now a computer game called “Dune”, but, this is no messy synaptic emoticon feed direct to the mentat: its just some old thing made on boring old computers. Unlike Dodgeball. So ignore that, and go to the public library.. before they become the private-public library, and read. READ. READ. READ.

Europe and Asian Stocks Plummet

admin — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 10:59:02 +0000

It looks like even earthquakes in far off Kyrgyzstan were not able to keep the planetary brain off the Almighty Dollar (or Euro, or Yen, or…), and it looks like the crisis may be getting even deeper: the United States Index of Homeless Families who Live in Motels in Massachusetts has increased by nearly 500 families. Think global recession, experience local depression! Also, dont forget, traders, to put your happy face on the overall doom and disaster!

Skype, Bringing Us a Little Closer

admin — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 02:26:59 +0000

It looks like the china skype surveillance mishap as being reported in the nytimes and elsewhere merely brings all paranoia to full closure: with the recent ebay sale of MI6 cameras with highly classified information, it seems that highly classified information about everything and everyone is just starting to leak at the seams. Time for one of those “I went to Tahiti, and all I got was a lousy transcript of everything I said that started with the offensive sound of “Buhw”, because in the local dialtect, its apparently a very insurrectionist word…” Next time you leave home, dont forget your pocket-censor.

WaMU Seized: Apocalypse at Hand

admin — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:19:32 +0000

The time of reckoning has arrived: Washington Mutual (WaMu) Seized by Feds, Bought by JP Morgan Chase. Apparently, JP Morgan, previously known for snapping up Bear Stearns, has now taken another piece of the american pie. Its also rumored they will be moving their corporate offices to Switzerland if Obama wins the election, out of fear that their gold horde might be threatened by over-regulated, power hungry beurocrats who just want the power of the desk, or the cash-stashed fridge, to rule the power of the gold. We’ll just have to see where the washout ends.