Financial Markets Fallout Radioactive

The highly toxic and radioactive assets in the latest round from the global stock market chaos has led to a dearth of advice on surviving the fallout. But certain suggestions as how to survive financial ruin come in many different flavors of trepidation and fear. Everything from guns to gold, clean water to diamonds, to buying up everything you can, if you can, during the firesale, leads us to wonder why cant we just start over? Paranoid Culture staff have taken an informal vote, and we beleive that clamshells will become the next currency. There should be enough for every human on the planet to have some money then. And if the clams begin to die off from global warming, why, what could be a better inflationary curb?